There was a quote I heard several years ago on a podcast. I no longer remember the podcast or the host name/interviewee name (nor can I find it online—sorry) but the quote was “Paint what makes your heart hurt.”
Immediately after hearing the phrase I went to Pinterest to make a board of things that make my heart hurt. Rainy days, clothes on a windy line, quiet candlelight, crunchy autumn leaves…
But I realize today that those moments of heart-hurting are fleeting. I’m like a helium balloon, floating from one moment to the next, never able to hold onto certain emotions for long. I need something to anchor me down to that feeling, keep me immersed in the water for a bit, so to speak.
If you’re like me, or literally anyone else on the planet, you’ve probably made a New Year’s Resolution at some point in your life. But I’m here to tell you that the generic “I’m gonna lose some weight” resolution is no more than a recipe for a binge-eating cake session in less than a week.
Thing is, the person you were on December 31st is the exact same person who wakes up in your bed on January 1st. We have to stop kidding ourselves into believing that we are brand-new (insert your pronouns here). Because we aren’t. The diet may have started, but the person you are still loves cake, and you’ve already been invited to two birthday parties in January.
So what are you to do? Just give up and eat the cake?
I mean, if it were me, I’d eat the cake.
But if losing weight were a really important goal for me, for health reasons and for the sheer fact that I no longer have any pants that fit me, I would focus less on the generic “lose weight, diet, exercise” mentality and focus more on forming a habit that will lead up to my goal. Like, maybe I could form a habit of doing 20 minutes of yoga each morning, or maybe I could form a habit of logging into my fitness pal every day after lunch. The goal then becomes less about losing weight, and more about establishing the routine that will eventually lead up to the weight loss.
Forming habits is not easy, and you’re going to have a few days in January where you either forget or say “today’s not the day” but once that habit is established you won’t be able to do anything else at 10am besides roll out the yoga mat. In fact, your day will be weird without that action, and you might even find yourself doing it later in the day so you can achieve some normalcy.
So, stop giving yourself these generic New Year’s Resolutions. Instead decide what it is you are trying to improve upon, and then think of the habits you can form in order to achieve this goal.
But Lina, you say, isn’t deciding to form a habit kind of like a resolution? Sort of! But it’s less “I will” or “I will not” and more “these are the habits I’d like to establish in the coming months.”
Instead of “I will do better in school,” form a habit of studying for an hour each day at 5pm.
Instead of “I will be more optimistic,” create a habit of writing in a gratitude journal every night before bed.”
Instead of “I will stop smoking,” form a habit of repeating a mantra each time the craving kicks in, or form a habit of going to a therapist each week to learn some great methods to fight the urge.
Having some trouble forming that habit? Try a habit tracker. You can find them in planners, journals, and there are dozens of phone apps with habit trackers as well. Make it fun. Treat yourself when you get to 10 days, 50 days, 100 days, etc.
One final bit of advice…avoid trying to change something that relies on external forces. For instance, “getting more followers” or “making more sales.” Goals like these are a slippery slope that will most likely leave you feeling resentful. You can definitely form few habits that may lead to more followers/sales/etc., but these habits are not a sure thing and on the off chance that you just so happen to make these goals at the beginning of a year like 2020, well that just uproots the whole plan.
Your goals should be something that you yourself can change, without relying on outside sources or the public or your audience. Goals like these, achieved by establishing a daily habit, are going to be the most successful, and leaving you feeling the most fulfilled.
Until next time, may your New Year be exciting and full of endless possibilities.
I’ve heard a lot of people in the creative field discuss the importance of taking a break. They stress it, over and over, in podcasts and blogs, and yet I still see the unfortunate effects of burnout on social media, in my friends, and even in my own home.
Burnout is a very real thing that doesn’t just affect those working creatively. It can also affect those in the medical field, parents, and basically anyone who has a heartbeat. Chances are you have experienced burnout at some point in your life.
A few signs you’re experiencing burnout:
You’re more tired than usual (for no discernable reason)
You’ve lost interest in your career/hobby/pursuit
You have zero motivation
A negative outlook on things
Feeling like you have no purpose or sense of self
If you’re dealing with any of these things, my first suggestion is to check in with your doctor to see if there isn’t something medically going on first. Then, if it’s determined you’re physically healthy, see if he/she would suggest medication and/or therapy. Both can be extremely beneficial in overcoming burnout and getting you back to feeling normal.
Burnout can cause college dropouts and end dream-come-true careers. I myself have experienced burnout so severe that I’ve quit entire hobbies.
What’s interesting about burnout is a lot of the time it can be prevented. I’m not saying we could have prevented the pandemic and saved those doctors/nurses from all that mental anguish, but I am saying that most of us, especially those of us working in the creative field, can prevent burnout if we just do one simple thing.
Step away.
I’ve seen people on my Twitter feed dealing with such awful burnout that they wound up quitting the thing they loved doing the most. Many times I tried to give them the seemingly simple solution of taking a break. But this suggestion, as it usually does, fell on deaf ears.
What is it about the world we live in that makes us feel like we have to work ourselves to death? When did we learn that every hobby or non-work pursuit has to wind up being monetary or it just becomes a waste of time? It’s taken me years to break out of this mindset and I still find myself going back to it every so often. Even now, I still feel like the entire day was wasted if I didn’t do anything that’s been deemed “productive.” But the great thing about today and last year is that today I take the day off anyway. Just so I can see that the world doesn’t end.
I think it’s tricky for us working in creative careers because we seldom have a steady flow of income. We sometimes have to work 7 days a week just to get paid the same amount as we would in one day if we had a simple 9-5. So we work and work and work and when we see no monetary gain (i.e. no sales) we work even more.
The same is true for creative hobbies, only instead of a monetary reward we look for likes and shares. And the more likes/shares you get, the more you want next time. I’ve seen posts get hundreds of likes (more than I’ve ever gotten) and the artist upset because they felt nobody liked their work and so it wasn’t any good. Not only did this person seriously need to take a break, but they also needed to reassess their definitions of value and success.
What is your definition of value? What is your definition of success? Is it time for you to redefine those terms for yourself?
Don’t be afraid to take a break. Even for one day. Find something that has nothing to do with your career/hobby/pursuit and make it part of your daily wind-down. Set a specific time to leave the desk and go through with it. Make it a habit. Hand the kiddos off to dad or grandma for a while and go take a long bath.
Give yourself time to miss what you do, to remember why you wanted it so bad in the first place.
For me, currently, my non-artistic hobby is jigsaw puzzles. I’ll turn on some House or Supernatural and pull out a big 300+ piece puzzle and put it together on the coffee table. This is a great way for me to step away from the phone/tablet, the painting tools, and my to-do list. Outta sight outta mind.
A bonus is when it draws in Goo and the husband and we all wind up putting a puzzle together as a family.
If you’re finding that you’re all work and no play, it may be time for you to take that break. Don’t wait until you start to feel the burnout coming on. Prevent it by leaving the canvas every day at 3pm. Prevent it by getting a good night’s sleep instead of working until dawn. Prevent it by taking care of yourself.
If it helps, treat the break as another way to reach your goals(s). Sometimes the very reason we can’t figure out the direction of a piece is because we’ve been looking at it too long. Use that as your excuse to finally go on that hike. You’ll be surprised by how much clearer you are when you return.
“Do you have the patience to wait Till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving Till the right action arises by itself?”
Scribble Chai 